For AGS, thesis and proposition set-up...
"Alright..." remember, the first words out of your mouth set the direction you're going.
Looking for a strong set up and appeal here, something from you specifically to draw us in. Give us structure, a sense of where you're going.
Personal anecdote, effective but long. How can you edit this down for impact and get to your set up sooner?
"I'm gonna talk to you about..." no. That's not how you draw us in to your topic.
Your video at the beginning wasn't necessary. The second AGS you used would've sufficed. Engage your audience with you, not your integration.
Could your own story replace something vicarious?
In your set up give your audience a purpose, to persuade.
For Integration...
How could your integration draw a more affective appeal with a topic like this?
Work out the technical presentation of your integration.
The clip upstages your intent.
Work out the technical presentation of your integration.
Go to a blank slide when you've made your point with hour visuals.
Reading the text on your screen indicates that you might not know what you're talking about. If you didn't have your integration, would you be able to deliver this speech?
For Delivery...
Fer, tuh, gonna... LITTLE SILVER BULLETS. This is how your words should feel.
"Y'all kin reach y'all's potential." Really? I need you to formalize.
"Guys."
Speed kills. Work on varying your tone, rate and speed.
Mills v. Meals.
Be careful with uncertain terms like maybe or probably.
Careful with "you guys."
Yer gonna
Fer
Tuh
Listen to yourself. You have a great topic. Don't undermine your credibility by your laziness in your speech.
Gonna wanna
For logos and pathos...
Logic is there, how can you draw emotion into this topic?
How is this persuasive? What's your call to action? What change do you want to make?
What makes your speech persuasive versus informative?
For Self-checking...
(Let your integration stand on its own.)10
For Transitions...
(Develop your transitions.)10
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